no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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