my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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