Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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