No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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