I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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