you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
