Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
