We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
vagina is talking i cant
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
