party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
