I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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