I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
