So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
