My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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