i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
