i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
