i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize