they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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