dude i'm inner monologue high
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
