Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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