Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
