what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
