The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
