I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
