so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
