I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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