That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
