And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
