A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
