Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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