There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
