How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize