I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm at about main and main street
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
