uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize