I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
