I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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