I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
