he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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