i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
