im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
