This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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