remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Your tits are I can't wait for
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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