:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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