She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
