I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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