I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
