Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You can't just leave with hair like that
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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