i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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