Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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