Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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