Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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