In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
