Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
