she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize