Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
