I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
