my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
