I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
